Hallluuuu..long time no write..

Well, what is my excuse this time for not writing in this blog for so so so long...hmm... Let's see.. My sister was here, no..not blaming her, actually ade je masa nak berblogging but just to have an excuse..so was the tourist guide for a month, that was tiring but super happy to have her here. We walked, shopped, cooked, baked and planned her wedding..yup, my little sister is getting married, Insya Allah in august so i am going to be the "mak pengantin" since i am the eldest. A bit , well, to be perfectly honest, very nervous about this..like I don't know all of my sedara, especially yang jarang jumpa, I might get the names wrong..gosh! That would so embarassing!!! Have to get some of my aunties' help on that. Nasib baik we have catering services now, not like zaman dulu where kena masak sendiri kat rumah, so cooking is not in my "things to worry" list. Excited to be going back for her wedding and Insya Allah for raya too! Already imagining all the glorious food waiting for me, yum yum... Ok, supposed to be writing about second part of the Disney trip but considering dah jadi cerita basi, let's just say that it was a really wonderful trip for all of us, lots of memories and tons and tons of great fun! Rasa macam nak pergi lagi.well, not likely coz it costs a ton( at least for us, it was) to go there..once in a lifetime jer kut but my son did say the next time he will be going to disneyworld is with his kids..so I asked whether he is going to bring me as well, and he said"of course, mommy". Great answer, if not, malam tu masak dinner sendiri..hahaha... Speaking of dinner, it is just going to be baked pasta for tonight as hubby is having dinner outside. As usual, if it is just the kids and me, pasta it is coz it is the easiest! But my son requested baked pasta in ramekins, he said it looks so luxurious.. What?? Ok lah, janji makan... Oh! I have been meaning to write about this...I overheard a woman's phone conversation on the bus(not my fault, she was talking loudly, I think the bus heard her)about her problems taking take of an elderly person. Now, I am not sure whether she was talking about her mom or her mother in law but she was saying that she couldn't do it anymore as it has been stressing her and her family out..she was complaining that this elderly woman didn't want to eat, didn't want to take showers, basically being a burden. Now I am not judging her because I don't know the whole story and maybe she was having a rough day and she was just pouring her heart out to the person on the other line. Some of the things she was saying, I could understand what she was going through for example, she had to be wearing a few different hats at the same time, being the daughter or (daughter in law), a wife and a mother.she was rushing between schools and her house and the elderly woman's house, trying to juggle so many things. I took care of my late mom when she was battling cancer and sometimes I did feel overwhelmed with all the things going on around me but I tried to do the best I could. It was not easy but it was nothing compared to what my mom was going through. Sometimes even now I wish I have done some things differently, wish I had done this or that or shouldn't have done this or that. When I told hubby about my worries, he said that my mom knew that I was trying my best and I have done it in the best way I could. But somehow, deep down I still feel that I haven't given my mom the best care that she deserved. Two days ago was her birthday, she would have been 63 years old. Happy birthday Ibu and Al-Fatihah.

We made it to Disneyworld!!!!

So last week was a very hectic and nerve wrecking week. I was planning this big huge trip to Disneyworld but kept it from the kids, wanted to surprise them. Once I saw a Disneyworld ad where a few parents surprised their kids and got it on video, so I have been planning to do that to them. So planning went on and on. The research on hotels ( trust me.. This one had me stressed out, which hotel, inside the parks or outside, the rate, the cleanliness, the service, the shuttle to Disney bla bla bla, tripadvisor was my best friend!)and then the flights, well, this one we booked really last minute as hubby just got clearance from HQ to take some days off on Friday morning, so Friday night I bought the tickets which turned out to be a few hundred dollars more compared to if we bought it two days earlier..oh well..what to do. Okay, after all of that was settled, I had to start packing but wait! The kids didn't know about it yet..yup, didn't plan to tell them until a few hours before the flight but then our flight was early Sunday morning so decided Saturday night would be ok and what a loonnggg Saturday it was. My daughter had a birthday party to go to at noon then at four, we had an invitation for tea at a friend's place, so there I was going to one party to another, keeping it all inside. Didn't even tell anybody else, guess I didn't want to jinx it..i know it sounds silly but after two trips being cancelled last minute, I was really hoping this one would go smoothly. At my friend's house, I didn't eat much,which I am regretting it now as her nasi lemak was super delicious. Anyway, we got home by 7, then asked them to change into their pajamas. Sat them down and with my camera ready with the video mode on, told them that they would not be going to school next week. When they asked why, told them "because we are going to Disneyworld!". They were stunned and couldn't process the info. Told them again, then they started jumping up and down! Oh..it was a sight to behold! The screaming of happiness was just priceless! I did it! THEN we started packing, packing for the lovely warm weather in Florida! Yeay! Ok, next day, off we went to the airport and my kids were saying that they couldn't believe this was happening and you know what kiddo, me too! The flight was smooth and once we got to Florida, everyone was feeling so excited! I couldn't sleep that night, the excitement plus it is a habit of mine not being able to sleep the first night I changed places. T The next morning, got up bright and early and had breakfast and off we went to Epcot! It was just surreal to see the big ball! Got on a few rides, took tons of pictures and had a gazillion of fun! Ok, part two of the trip in the next blog! Have to go now!

Lemon chicken for tonight..hopefully

Now making lemon chicken for dinner, this would be my second time. The first time was not that good, even though my son said it was goooodddd..today trying out a new recipe. Hopefully it turns out to be ok. Last night's dinner wasn't good. The lasagna turned out to be dry and I got so upset.. Plus "best friend' was due to come and visit soon, so moods were swinging left and right like no one's business! I was so depressed yesterday and ended up being so tired and dizzy. The kids still enjoyed the lasagna but I made way better lasagnas before so it was a let down. Ah.. Well.. Life goes on. Having some music on now while cooking in the kitchen and it did cheer me up a bit..oh yes, "best friend" said hello this morning so I am having still "me against the world" feeling! Everything is wrong! People annoys me for no reason! Arghh!! I hate this! Trying to keep it under control but sometimes it would just spiral out of control and I ended up feeling so down and depressed! Today's weather was not helping either and the fact that my brothers and sisters are back in our hometown for my cousin's wedding is making me feel lonely. Wish I am back home with everyone and all the craziness and the glorious food! Gosh! I really miss home. Just hoping what I have been planning for next week comes true..

Assignment for today

Had my second lesson today and the assignment is quite tough. The taecher gace us a few phrases to choose from tomstart our story and the story has to end with a twist and we have to write in five minutes! Gosh! That is definitely not easy but I am going to give a go.. Maybe will post it here later. Been talking to my friend and she asked me what do I want to do with my writing training. Well, hopefully to publish a book or two( well, I wouldn't stop at two if I could) and maybe have my own column(s) one day. Fiinding ideas of what to write is not as easy as people would think. There is always this blank page syndrome in me where I would stare at a blank oage, not knowing what to write about..nada..zilch..zero...so one of the good exercises is to free write..but even that is not easy to do if you have all these inner negative critic in you head telling you that you can't do this, this idea is stupid, that idea is rubbish, what do you think you are doing ( actually having those oices right now as I am typing away.. Arghhhh!!!!), so on and so forth.. Well, I will shoot down all those voices and believe that I can do this!!! Yes I can!!!! "Met" a few new friends in my class and so happy to know that we share the same passion and so relieved to know that we have more or less the same problems; self-doubt, lack of writing discipline, procractination, writer's block and negative people that think we are not good enough to be great writers. Well, together we are going to march on..hmm... Now I think I sound like someone who is marching to go and fight for their country or something..well, we are fighting right? fighting to make our dreams come true...best of luck to all of us!

Have to follow what the teacher says..

Today is the first day of my second writing course titled Writerrific: Creativity Training for Writers. And my new teacher, Eva, said that YOU HAVE TO WRITE EVERYDAY..EVEN IF IT IS ONLY FOR FIVE MINUTES..YOU HAVE TO WRITE EVERYDAY... Ok, I think by now I should get that printed in my brain...it is the same thing that my previous teacher, Ann, said..write everyday! I know for some people it is just straightforward and simple, you want to be a writer, you have to write but for me, I guess, I need somebody to tell me that so I can do it, knowing that that somebody knows what she is talking about. The assignment for the first class is quite easy, introduce yourself (done that!) amd find a nice journal to write in.hm..actually my old journal is all filled up so need a new one..heheh..an excuse to go shopping..hey..buying a journal is also considered shopping in my vocabulary! And I also need a new folder and a nice new shiny pen that will make my handwriting looks nice! I really have bad handwriting and I always blame it on the pen...ok..will be writing away..everywhere; here in my blog, in my journal, in my iPhone writing app and etc etc...

Go on and write!!!!

I have not been writing much after my first writing class and now planning to take a second one. I know I have to get off my b**t and write EVERYDAY but I am just being plain lazy. Have to get over that laziness and WRITE,, gosh..is that so hard to do? Don't think so..ok..ok..it is Jan 11 and it is not too late to have a new year's resolution right? Ok...have to have to have to write...what I learnt from my first class is just to write, whatever it is you are writing aboutl, it doesn't matter, you just have to write. One of the most helpful writing methods is by doing free write. Set the timer to five or ten minutes, then start writing, don't stop, don't edit, don't care about how your handwriting looks like, just write until time is up. We can go bla bla bla if we run out of things to write about. The good thing about free writing is that you might find some ideas hidden in there somewhere that can be put into good use in your book, short stories or anything you are working on. One more thing I learned is that the only way to fail writing is by not writing anymore..ok..I do not want to fail so I ammgoing to continue writing.

Ok, let's take a detour and talk about the new baby in town, blue ivy carter..jayz and beyonce's new baby..am watching the view right now and they said that they spent over a million dollars for gifts for the baby. There is a 20 grand baby crib and a some sort of solid gold rocking horse that cost a fortune ( didn't catch how much it is).. 20 grand crib??? It is RM60K!!!! Can buy a small car with that!!! And they also renovated the wing of the hospital where the baby was born which cost over a million dollars! I might sound naive but it is not that they are going to live there .. It is just pain, push and off you go home.. So why do you need to spend money to renovate the place? Well, it is because they have the money of course but to me, that is just plain stupid to do that and what a waste of money..that is just my opinion.

Ok...write away!!!!

First entry for 2012

Well, it is already 4th of January today and what a freezzziiinnngggg day it is. In the morning it was -11C!!!! My fridge's temperature is warmer I think! Had to make sure the kids were bundled up really good before going to school. Of course my son was reluctant about putting an extra sweater! And it is always a battle to go out the door during this cold weather, have to make sure everyone has their gloves, scarves, hats. Yesterday, which was equally as cold as today, we were late and we rushed to school and in the midst of making sure everyone got everything, I forgot my hat! Boy, that was a big mistake! My ears felt like falling off! Plus I couldn't feel my nose and my hands were freezing despite wearing gloves! Need to get thicker gloves..heheh..an excuse to go to the shops! And I have another excuse, I left my favorite hat on the train a few days ago so "need" to get a new one (even though I do have a few other hats).

Our winter break didn't turn out as planned. The trip to South Carolina was cancelled. To the very last minute, literally last minute! The bags were packed and were put at the door, we were all dressed and ready to go. The guy that was supposed to come and pick us up ( we were going with him and another couple in a mini van) called and said the weather was really bad and we had to go the next morning. Plus he was late and was coming from Philly, bla bla bla....if we were to leave the next day, it meant we have only one night in SC ( it is a twelve-hour journey) and it would be so tiring, we would spending more time on the road than in SC. So we told him just to just cancel it. No more planning trips with this guy! On the plus side, it might be a blessing in disguise because it was raining hard and my daughter wasn't feeling well. So when we told the kids it was cancelled, they were so super duper upset. It broke my heart to see them cry..:((. So we told them we would do something special and promised toys as a consolation. It was not bribery..it was just to cheer them up. So we went to the botanical garden to see the train show and of course to the LEGO store for the toys. The LEGO store was a big mistake to go during christmas break. There were sssooooo many people!!! Fifth Avenue was jam packed! To walk was impossible..no more excuse me, you just had to bulldoze your way through! I haven't seen that many people on Fifth Avenue before especially near the LEGO store which is in Rockerfeller center. And we did another big mistake by going to Times Square! Why oh why did we go? Thought of having lunch at Hard Rock Cafe..it was an hour wait! Forget it! We'll come when there are less tourists in NYC...:)). So basically winter break was ok even though we didn't get to to to SC. Things happen for a reason.. That's what I told the kids and to myself.

Trying to stay warm.....