His 9th birthday..

My son celebrated his 9th birthday a few days ago. We had a small simple celebration, just the four of us. He wanted to go to Toys-R-Us and before hand he had made a very looooonnnng list of toys he wanted to buy which came up to 400 bucks!!! Hello...ingat mommy cop duit ka?? Before that, we had to go and get his eyes check again!!! Apparently the glasses he's wearing now is not helping him to see clearly in class, we just had that made four months ago!!! Ni kes tengok TV and computer tak pakai cermin mata la ni...so we waited for nearly two hours to see the doctor, even though I have made an appointment earlier but somehow other people went in before us. Not wanting to make a scene (one of those rare days where I don't feel like scolding people..), we waited while my son was asking every five minutes when are we going to go to the toy store. My daughter was also excited to go because she knew she can tumpang her brother's birthday and get herself a brand new toy. That's happens every year...anyway, after all was checked and paid and done, off we went to Times Square. As usual, there was a sea of people, it was a Saturday and the weather was nice, even though a tad breezy. We went straight to the LEGO section and boy, he took his own sweet time in choosing which one to buy. I told him that he was not going to buy ALL the things he had on his list, and he could choose only one, a big ONE box of LEGO. So he had a hard time choosing which one to buy first. He was scared that the other ones would be out-of-stock the next time he comes here. The reason why he had that phobia is because, once we went to a different toy store and he wanted this Lego and we said we could come next time to buy since we didn't have time that day (at least that's the reason I gave him) and when we did go for the second time, the Lego he wanted was not there anymore. Not only that, most of the Lego was gone, a mistake to go that time as it was after Christmas...so he had the right to be scared this time around and worried that it would not be there anymore the next time. Anyway, as we were waiting and waiting and waiting (we were being extra nice since it was his birthday after all), I decided to bring my daughter to look for her toy as my hubby had the "hard work" of helping my son to choose. Well, our little girl didn't give me an easy work either. Since there were ssssooooo many toys to choose from, she was rambang mata already, not knowing which one to choose. After quite sometime, both of them decided on their toys, at last!!! Then, my hubby and me felt hungry from all the waiting and persuading, so we decided to go have lunch (a birthday lunch). Well, the birthday boy decided that he didn't want to go for lunch and he said he felt tired and wanted to go home. Old trick!! Because we knew that the reason why he wanted to go home so soon was to play with his new Lego set. So we dragged him to lunch and he was being such a grumpy boy, he complained that he was feeling cold and his tummy hurt and what not. Mommy's hungry and mommy wants to eat so your Lego just have to wait. But when the food came, he was enjoying his food all the same!!! Siap pau mommy's food lagi. Then we headed home and straight away he opened his new toy and he really like it so all in all, it was a good birthday for him...

All ends well..even though the journey was not that easy sometimes...

how i appreciate good health..

I haven't been blogging for quite a while. Been sick for ages, well, at least that's how I felt. It started with a slight fever, then fever gone, came the migraine for three days, decided to change the medication since the one I was taking was not doing me any good. Bad move! Turned out I am allergic to that medicine, so what happened was what usually happens when I am allergic to some medicine (I have a long list of what type of medicine I am allergic to..and it keeps on changing, doctors are quite puzzled when they talk to me about my so-weird allergic problem). Where was I? Oh yes, my eyes got swollen, couldn't barely open them, my daughter said that I looked like my chinese friend. My son reminded me of the promise to bring him to watch "The diary of the wimpy kid" movie. Sorry dear, not when mommy's eyes are like this!!!! So had to postpone the movie outing to the next day! After that episode of swollen eyes, I had a bit of cough. After two days, it got better so I thought the worst is over!!! Well, I thought wrong. The worst was yet to come. Tuesday night, I felt all chilly and my whole body was aching..a sign of getting a really bad fever. True enough, the next morning I woke up all groggy and my head was spinning. Took panadol and went back to sleep (hubby had to handle the kids, sent them to school and picked them up..). Woke up a few hours later, my tonsils were swollen!! Couldn't even swallow my own saliva without feeling like there were millions of pins down my throat!! I am not exaggerating..it did felt like that! Went to the doctor the next day...I was so glad to see him!! I hadn't been eating normally for two days..all i had was yogurt (even that hurt like..like..like..well like swallowing pins and needles). The doc prescribed antibiotics, and I thought, yeay, I am going to be okay in two days' time! I thought wrong once again!!! The next day my gums got all swollen, so add that to the swollen tonsils, I had a field day, of not being able to get anything into my tummy without crying because it hurt ssssooo much! Called the doctor and went to see him again (twice in five days!) and he discovered I was allergic to the antibiotics (remember I have a llooonnng list of what I am allergic to?). So stopped taking that antibiotics and took a different medicine to reduce the swelling. So after a few days, I got better, thank God. Now the gums on the back of my mouth are still a bit swollen but I now appreciate drinking water without feeling any pain and the fact that I can eat almost normally now. This event made me realised how important being healthy is and we should not take it for granted. When I was sick, I couldn't kiss or cuddle my kids and I miss taking care of them, even though I always complain that I am so tired doing the housework and taking care of everybody. My hubby was extra helpful, he took two days off to take care of me and to take over "running the kingdom". I missed having my morning coffee but one thing that I am not going to eat for quite some time is yogurt because that was all I had for nearly a week and the sight of yogurt reminds me of how sick I was, so now I am yogurt phobia (I am sure that's a word for it..). When my gums are 100% ok, the first thing I am going to do is to buy the foot long subway sandwich and really bite into it! I think the 2 kilos I lost when I was sick will be regained in no time...oppss!!!!

Being sick is no fun!!!!

spring break..

My kids are having their spring break for about two weeks, even though the weather today don't seem like spring time at all, it has been raining since last night and it is sssooo gloomy and depressing. The kids were watching TV and if I hadn't reminded them that they have some reading assignments to do, they would be in front of that box till night time. My son is really testing my patience now, he is dilly-dallying and making all sorts of excuses not to do his reading. Hmmm geram jugak nih...sabar!!!! My daughter okay sikit..rajin la jugak..

The reading system here is quite good, they don't just ask you to read the book, but they emphasize on stopping and thinking about the story and the kids are encouraged to have little post-its where they can jot down ideas or questions along the way. And instead of having tons of homework everyday like what I had waaaayyyy back then, they have a manageable amount of homework and a book a day to read. The interest of reading is being instilled at a very young age and also the critical thinking part of it. The kids also have writing classes, I mean I am so impressed that they are learning how to write a book starting at first grade. Also with the books they are reading, they learn the different techniques of writing books. I know that we also have essays and karangans in our school, but the method is a bit different and I think the kids are learning more through this system of "building" your story throughout the year. By the end of the year, the kids will be "publishing" their books. I wish I had that when I was in school..maybe I would be an award-winning writer by now...hehehe...

Don't stop wishing...

ski trip..

At last, we went for an outing outside the city...kids were super excited, no problem waking them up 5 in the morning. The journey was smooth, apart from the bus driver who got the drop-off place wrong..dah la salah, tak nak apologize pulak tu..anyway, got to the ski resort, snow was scarce..dah spring kan, but enough to ski and tubing. Hubby joined the ski lesson, the kids and me went tubing..no lesson needed for that one..luncur jer..it was sssoooo much fun. At first my daughter was scared, so I had to hold her hands sliding down, but after the third time, she was brave enough to go by herself. And she didn't want to stop, nor did her brother. Yang letih nye mommy le, coz I still had to go down and helped her with her float to drag it up the slope. I was telling myself, at least that would be my exercise for the day. After about one and a half hours tubing, we decided to call it a day. Tu pun coz my daughter had gotten her socks wet, if not God knows when we would stop.

We had lunch at the cafe. It was just a simple lunch, ordered fries and clam roll. Other Malaysians siap bawak nasi lemak, mee goreng , keropok and what not. I could not bring myself to wake up at 4 to cook and clean and to get the kids ready for the trip. So hubby dearie suggested ordering pizza the night before and reheat in the morning. Boy, I love him!!!

After lunch (well, if you can call fries and clam roll lunch, by the Malaysian standard), we checked in at the hotel. Rested for a bit. my body was starting to feel sore after all the climbing and pushing and tubing. Then we decided to walk around town. It was a really quiet town and a few shops opened. Most shops close at 2 pm!!! Found a gelato shop and gosh!! it was delicious..and the owner recommended lemon cake that she baked herself. It was truly out-of-this-world!!! Rugi pulak order satu jer...

We went back to the hotel just in time for the dinner and games organized by the club's committee. The kids had fun, dancing and running around. I wonder where they got their energy, I mean they woke up early, traveled for three hours, tubing and then they still have tons of energy to run around!!! A little after nine, we went back to our room and my hubby immediately knocked out! First time skiing la katakan...I couldn't sleep the whole night. It has been a habit of mine where I would have trouble sleeping at a new place. Plus with my hubby's snoring, it was not a good night for me.

The next morning, we had breakfast and then before going back to the city, we made a stop. At the outlet!!!! It was my first time there and gosh, my eyes grew bigger and bigger seeing all the designer shops...pity we didn't have enough time to go into each and every one of them. But still managed to buy one handbag and one sling bag. Hubby bought some work clothes and kids got some shoes and clothes. Come to think of it, hubby got the most stuff..mana aci!!!! But for people who had been to other outlets, this outlet is really small. You mean others are much bigger??? Wow...hopefully I would be at the bigger outlets soon!!!!

After lunch, we headed home. Almost everyone slept throughout the journey except for moi..another habit of mine..can't sleep while travelling. So add that to the sleepless night before, I was really tired. Got home around 7 pm, decided to tired to cook so it was maggi for everyone!!! By 10, I was so happy to be in my own bed and try not to think of having to wake early tomorrow..was thinking the kids could skip school esok..apa punya mak la..(they did go after all, they have all the energy in the world, remember?)

All in all, it was a great trip, was glad to see the countryside and enjoy the peaceful surrounding..now back to our world, where everyone is honking and beeping...

serenity is priceless...

have to be motivated to stay motivated

Today, I am feeling super duper depressed...well, have been feeling like this on and off for quite some time..and I am trying hard to stay positive. I am thankful with what I have now, a great hubby, two wonderful healthy kids, great family and friends. But I am feeling like I have to do something more with my life...I am trying to write and to be a writer but I am just so lazy sometimes to do anything about it and I know NO ONE CAN HELP ME EXCEPT MYSELF on that matter. I have written bits and pieces here and there but nothing substantial..I am feeling so lost. Over here, I have nobody to talk too, except for hubby and I don't want to be bothering him with my problems so much..besides I need somebody different that I could talk too. God knows how lonely I am feeling right now...

I am trying to stay positive..I remember helping a blind woman not long ago to cross the street. She was going to the UPS store and all she had was a dog to lead the way and she seemed to be happy. God knows what she went through but if she can be outside and finding her way around, I am pretty sure I could do much more right? But sometimes I tend to forget things like that, I mean to look around and see that other people are in much more difficult situations and they managed to survive. I saw a video about this guy who doesn't have any arms and legs, and he said it is not easy not to be bitter about life but he decided not to be bitter, just to be better. I really admire his courage, he has only limbs but he does try to do normal things like normal people and I think he is doing a good job at it.

The feeling of being lost and lonely is bugging me right now and I don't know how to deal with it. I pray to God that he would show me the way as only He knows what is best for me. But I also have to do my part by staying positive and try my hardest to achieve what I want, whatever that maybe.

Nothing is what it seems...

freezing...

Today, the building management decided to do maintainance on the heating system, so no heater from 5 am till 6 pm. They must be out of their mind!!! It is not as cold as last week but being on the 17th floor and outside's temperature being 8C and I am sure it is colder up here, it is freezing!!! Now I am in the kitchen, the warmest place in the house, plus I am cooking now so that makes it even warmer!!! My first attempt making masak lemak daging..yep, I am 35 and married for ten years, and this IS my first time cooking that dish. Wanted to put cili padi but my kids will be complaining that it is too spicy, so mommy and papa have to sacrifice la...

Back to the freezing woman here...I am now wearing socks, long sleeve t-shirt, sweatpants and a cardigan....and wanted to wear gloves but then, I can't type with gloves on. I still don't know how some people can text on their phone with gloves on...I can't even press one single button let alone typing messages...that is one skill I am yet to learn and conquer...

I hope this service work ends before 6 pm, seriously, I am still not comprehending why they have to do it now, they could wait until it is a lot more warmer..but then again, this year, the winter seems to be overstaying..it is already middle of March and we still need our winter coats plus layers of clothing to go out...

Keeping warm....

Brothers and Sisters..

I really like to watch the Brothers and Sisters series..somehow it reminds me of my own family, five siblings and a mom. Even though we don't have all the drama of finding out that the dad had an affair (thank God for that!) and we don't really "fight" every time we meet up, the dynamics of a good family is what what we have in common with the Walkers. My siblings and I, we are really close and when my mom had her breast cancer operation, we got even closer. The hardship and misery that we went through has shown me how grateful I am to have such great siblings. My brother who is two years younger realised that he now takes over the role of being the man of the house when our dad passed away and I am proud to say that he is doing it very well indeed. Even though sometimes I worried that he was busy taking care of everyone that he forgets to take care of himself. My other brother, eight years younger, is an ''arty person, the best way to describe him. He is still "searching" for his true self..at least that's what I think he is doing..but he really carried out his responsibility in helping out in caring for our mom. Even though sometime I would have to remind him to cut down on his jamming sessions and spend more time with our mom, he is a good kid. My two younger sisters, are much more matured than their real age. I guess that came from the experience of growing up without a dad (our dad passed away when they were five and three years old) and the boarding school life they had since they were thirteen. It is particularly hard to see my sisters going through the process of healing after our mom passed away, as they were the closest to her. My mom really made sure that they were protected and taught the best way she knew how and they have indeed grown up to be two wonderful young women.

I was "spring cleaning" my phone where I came across all sms I got from my siblings during the time when my mom was sick. The messages were about various things like the medicines we should pick up from the hospital, or the time for chemo and who was going with my mom, and endless of "kirim" food sms to who was going to the hospital canteen (which serves delicious asam pedas and sambal belacan) and the simple messages of saying thank you and "I love you". For us, saying "I love you" is a must thing that we do every time we talk to each other, thanks to our mom who insisted that we need to tell that to the people we love every time we have the chance.

When our mom passed away, we worked together to figure out how to sort things out - to bring the "jenazah" back to our home town, to do the tahlil, to take care of our house and also the details of how to handle the "harta peninggalan'. Alhamdulillah, so far, we don't argue about the money or land my mother had, we always decided to share it equally among us. I know of some siblings who don't see eye to eye when it comes to this.

Now, even though I am so far away from them and I miss them terribly, I know that they are there for me and me for them, because now, with both our dad and mom gone, what we have is each other. My mom asked me to promise her before she passed away to take care of my siblings. I know as the eldest, that is my responsibility and I did promise her and I do intend to carry out that promise the best way I know how...Insya Allah.

Don't be bitter, be better...