Today I skyped with my three adiks... While skyping, two of them were playing the dance game thingy on kinect...it was fun watchung them play but how my heart ached to be there with them. Missing them and home so much...they just went back to KB for my cousin's wedding...miss that too..all the fun and the chaos that comes with the kenduri and of course the kenduri food and KB food. It didn't help that my brother posted a picture of the best chicken choo ever..sunhua restaurant.
Sometimes I wish we could just hop on the plane and go home but it is not that easy. The flight is way too long and it is not cheap either. Luckily my sister and brother came to visit us so terubatla sikit rindu. Insya Allah my other sister is coming next year. I am looking forward to go back for good after our three-year contract but there is one thing that is I am scared to face, going back to my mom's house. It will be weird going back there and knowing that she won't be there waiting for us, for me. I don't know whether I can handle it, the feeling of sadness and emptiness. It would take time for me to adjust to that. After my mom's passing, the time we had in KB was too short for me to absorb everything and come to terms with her death and before I knew it, we were on the flight to New York. So as much as I look forward to go home, I dread facing the empty house. I dread knowing that when I wake up in the morning, I won't be able to have our usual morning ritual of having our nasi berlauk breakfast and coffee and talk about anything and everything, which followed by the trip to the shops, the bazaars and then buy lunch, usually the yummy nasi sumatra. Then after lunch, she would have her afternoon nap, then we would have our afternoon coffee with some fried pisang goreng or my mom's yummy pancake. Then we would go to our relatives' house or just have a nice time in her garden. How i miss doing those things with Ibu and how I miss her. My heart aches and only God knows how much it is aching everyday.
Praying for strength...
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