Wednesday, June 23, 2010

the other woman...

A few years ago, my uncle married another woman after being married to his first wife for more than thirty years and the woman that he married already have six kids from her previous marriage!!!! Everybody was (and some still is) mad at him for doing that to his wife. His wife is a petite, quiet and timid woman that never raise her voice to anyone. One of the reasons given by my uncle when asked why did he do it was that he was not getting enough attention anymore from his wife who was busy taking care of their first grandchild. Is that a valid reason or a lame one? Did he get enough attention from the woman that has six kids? My uncle now basically abandon his first wife and neglect his duties towards her. He doesn't even bother to divorce her. She is left hanging. Luckily, her kids are around to support her. Recently, their youngest daughter got married and he wanted to be there, so there was a bit of chaos and hostility and his wife stayed in the room until he left the ceremony. It was supposed to be one of the happiest moments for the newlyweds but something like this had ruined their day.

People would say it is noble to forgive and forget but how can someone forgive and forget something like this? His wife is traumatised for being left "just like that" and now even scared (or is it more of hatred?) of seeing my uncle's shadow. She tries to carry on with her life but I must think it is so hard for her to go through life knowing that her husband is somewhere else, in another home, with another woman. What about their kids? No doubt they are all grown up and have their own family, but the fact that your dad is with his "other" kids, that must be hard. I am now sure which one is harder to swallow, losing your dad like that or losing your dad to a heart attack? My siblings and I lost our dad suddenly to a heart attack, 17 years ago. It was so sudden that we didn't have the chance to say goodbye. We still miss him but we know that he is no longer here but will always be in our heart. On the other hand, for our cousins, their dad is alive but is he in their hearts?

Life is full of challenges, so take charge!!!!!