I am one worried mom

My son is now in the process of applying for middle school and of course I want him to go to the best school for him. The middle school process in new york city is comparable to college application process. You have to fill in a form and put your five choices and depending on the schools that you have selected, you might be called for interviews and tests. It is so stressful not only for the kids but also for the parents. It is highly competitive as there are only a certain numbers of seats in the top schools and the applicants are getting more and more by the year. Ok, that is for the public school application. Now, we have also been trying to get him into the international school and that is a another process that is giving us headache. he had to sit for this Independent School Entrance Examination for two and a half hours, comprising of Math and English. We had some practice done on the sample questions and even though he didn't get everything right, he managed to answer most of the questions. Come the real thing, he said he didn't get to finish quite a number of questions as he was spending too mich time double checking his answers because he was really scared he might answered them wrong. I was so upset because he was supposed to answer all and then checked the answers! He is a bit of an overthinker so he would always take longer time going over things and that has caused him some marks. I have been reminding him time and again about his time management, that he should know how to time himself in tests and he had sat for his state exams twice and he had done really well. I guess he got freaked out about this test and he was being too careful. Well, he got most of the questions that he answered right, that is good but the fact that he could have gotten more marks if only he tried to answer the remaining questions. Anyway, we got the results and it is not as good as what he had gotten on the practice test (I think). A few days after the test, we went for the interview and it was a family interview. While he did conduct himself well, he was so nervous in the beginning that he kept looking at me for answers when the director of admission was asking him questions. Anyway, the process had passed and all we can do know is wait and hope and pray for the best. Tawakkal is what we do now. I keep on reminding myself that whatever happens, it is for the best. But still, until we get the results, I am going to be one worried mom.

Bread making

For the past two weekends, I have been learning to make homemade bread and it had been fun. Kids got involved, they love punching down the dough and kneading..well, actually more of playing with the dough. The outcome was better the second time,"practice makes perfect". It is a nice feeling to be smelling the bread baking in the oven and to know that something simple yet delicious is about to be done in a few minutes. The best feeling of all is when my hubby and kids enjoyed the warm bread and nearly the whole loaf was attacked within minutes.. For me, that is a huge achievement! Am not a huge fan of cooking, i mean i dont hate it but i dont love it either but there are times when i want to try new things and when it comes out great, I am a happy bunny!! So far I have made the basic white loaf so next project, at the request of husband dearest, is the dinner rolls and cinnamon raisin bun (well, the second one is my request to myself). So maybe soon we will not be buying bread from the stores anymore, maybe just maybe...:)). Nothing is impossible. Who ever thought I would be making my own bread? Not me, for sure. Cooking used to be so foreign to me before! Everything related to making food was and sometimes is still scary to me but I have to say I have come a long way. Last week, I made fish curry and hubby said that it was delicious! Yeay! Then we told our daughter the story of the very first fish curry I made, it was when we were still dating and oh my, it was a disaster. It was sweet and the fish was all falling apart! I was living with my aunt at that time and well, she freaked out too. she wasnt a good cook either and both of us were trying to "fix" the curry by putting salt, then sugar, then salt again then sugar again because the taste was so weird! we didn't have tome to make a new one so by the time hubby came,we had no choice but to serve him the horrendous dish. my aunt and I were trying to read his face when he ate it. he was a good actor I guess because not only he ate as if it was okay (he didnt say it was delicious but he didnt say it was bad either), he also had a second helping of the unedible dish. I couldn't eat it myself. Yeap, it was THAT bad! Then I told my daughter that if your dad hadn't eaten it, maybe I wouldn't have married him. Hahaha.

Running day today

Yeay..at last today I went running at central park..for someone who lives fifteen minutes away from this iconic park of new york city, I am sure a late, very late addition to this popular sport at this popular park...hope that makes sense..hahaha..actually, it is not that I haven't been to central park before..been there tons of time..but not for running..only walking and strolling and people watching. So now since I am determined to start running and son dearest is also in his school running team and it was such a nice day today, we decided to go running. My daughter went as well and as usual she would be sprinting away, (running is her way of walking)and I was shouting from behind, asking her to slow down..it was a good run and I was sweating which is really hard to do in fall or winter...there was a lot of people running and was happy to finally be part of the "group". Hopefully this new hobby will last even though not sure when the next time I can go running at the park as the temperature will be dropping starting from tomorrow. Well, if there is a will, there is a way right? Talking about will, boy, did I have a lot of will power today..today is BLACK FRIDAY!!! And I didnt set foot in any store.!!!..walking to and from central park, we passed through so many shops and there were people everywhere with shopping bags and there were sale signs everywhere in every single corner!! Arghh!! Wish I could go but then was thinking that there wasn't anything that I REALLY want or need for now and don't really want to drag the kids and brave the crowd..they will be whining till my eardrums burst anyway plus the "banker" is at work today despite the thanksgiving holidays!! So no black friday for me then.. Hopefully tomorrow wil still ada some leftovers..:)).. Willpower for tomorrow lain cerita..:)) Smile and the world will smile with you!!!!

Knitting project

So I have decided to resume my knitting project after nearly three years hiatus..determined to make hubby his scarf which I have promised...hmm...almost three years ago 😉. A few days ago, I wanted to order some yarn from this online shop. And then I just realised that I don't have a clue of what type of yarn to get and how much of it needed to make a scarf. So kenala buat homework dulu..spent more than an hour doing that. It was a bit confusing because there were so many conflicting infos. So I took the leap of faith and followed this particular website, it looked reliable enough. Okay, done with the homework, off I went to the shop (in the virtual world that is) and found this craft shop that offered free shipping with a $40 purchase. So now pening with the decision to buy up to $40 la pulak. Eventually the yarn I wanted to buy to make the scarf came up to only $15. But nak free shipping punya pasal, I decided to get yarn for my self and my daughter..(my son not a fan of scarves). Dah siap pilih all the yarn, still tak cukup syarat..the yarns were cheap to start with and ada sales on top of that. So decided to buy some felt fabric that my daughter needs to make her dolls' t shirts. And then I made the $40 mark..phew, macam lari marathon..😊. So now eagerly waiting for it to be shipped, of course free shipping comes with its downside, 7-10 businees days!!! Jenuh le menunggu. So in the meantime, I am practicing my knitting skill or rather the lack of it. And after reading up on knitting, I discovered new stitches and techniques. And there are sssoooo many different types of stitches..well, the basic two are knit and purl, but the combination of those two can make the other many wonderful types of stitches. Last night while we were watching our Saturday night movie, I was busy practicing all these new discoveries, rasa seronok la pulak..as I am typing this pun, macam tak sabar nak start knitting..hahaha..new found love? We shall see..... Discovery is a wonderful thing...

The aftermath of sandy

After hurricane sandy..Alhamdulillah we are okay, no damage to our building, still got power and water. Other people not so lucky, some friends have to move to the office, no electricity in their building. Other people are even worse, lost their homes and everything, either burnt down by fire or destroyed by the rising water. They don't have anywhere to go, except for the shelters for a few days but how do they build their home and their life again? Saw one man who went to his mom's house or rather what is left of it, amd all he could salvage was his mom's corningware bowl. One, only one single thing had survived the fire. Some of the people interviewed on tv looked so clueless and overwhelmed by what had happened. They do not know what to do or where to start? They couldn't believe this had happened. Their life as they know it, has been turned upside down, inside out and they have a long road ahead of them to make it right agan, to make it normal again. My heart goes out to them, wish them all the best and hope they have the strength to get up and march on.

Sandy is coming...

Hurricane Sandy is coming to town. It is on its way now from down south. Schools are closed tomorrow..the kids are happy obviously. We have bought some water and milk and other basic supply, it was forecasted that there would be some electricity and water supply disruptions due to the high wind and rain. Low level areas in NYC are in the danger of being flooded so mandatory evacuation was ordered. Luckily we are not in that area but we still have to be vigilant. Need to fill up bathtub with water, just in case takde air. Have some candles on hand, and need to fully charge both iphone and ipad by tomorrow afternoon. So no mindless browsing for a while okay?:)) it is getting cloudier and cloudier by the hour now and it is said to be windy now..not sure of that since i dont dare to go out now. The last hurricane we had was last year, a few days before raya puasa. Even though we were spared a direct hit, the damage was still huge. It is said that this hurricane sandy is going to be much worse. It is dubbed the "Frakenstorm" as it is going to be a monster storm, slamming itself into mostly of the whole of America's northeastern region. Many states have declared state of emergency. New York's subway system is being closed down. The storm is said to last for two days, it is definitely going to take its own sweet time in leaving us, so I am praying that everything is going to be okay, Insya Allah. Stay safe!

Volunteering is fun and tiring..

Today, I started volunteering at the kids's school's book fair. Boy..it was tiring. Wth the setting up yesterday and the grand opening today, all the other colunteers and me had our hands full. But it was fun! And i have the whole week next week to do it too..:)). The book fair committee would get books from scholastic and will help sell them and some of the percentage of the sales will go to the school. Well, at least i think that's how it works. See, I wasn't at the meeting as i was asked to do something else that i don't like to do at some other place that i don't like to be at, by somebody that i don't like..no, not form the school, this person is from somewhere else..gosh..how i despise this person..anyway....back to the book fair...i love it when the kindergarten kids come to it.not only they look so cute and adorable, (well at least before they started screaming when they don't get to buy the books that they want, or rather the 'non-books' items is more like it, for example the colourful erasers, pointers, pens, pencils and what not), but they are funny too. There was this boy who came to the cash register with money in his hand and just gave it to me without having any books to buy. I told him that he needed to go and choose some books before paying and he gave me this blank and confused look! And he had quite a lot of money in his hand..😀. Someone took him to the books and at last he came back to pay for them witha big smile on his face!!!. And some kids would be bringing $10 and came to the cashier with books worth $40! Boy! That is quite hard explaining to them that they can't buy them all. Usually we would let the teachers do the explaining, we wouldn't want to be the cause of some kids wailing...!!! March on!!!!

tak nak tengok dah adam dan hawa....

ok..actually i didn't want to start watching the hottest drama in malaysia right now because i know, kalau dah start tengok, nanti i nak follow sampai habis plus ada abang AA, nak la tengok kan? sorry Yang..i still love you..:)). anyway, since some of my FB friends duk "promote" AH, thought of oklah, tengok la jugak..but my..selloooowwwwwwww nyer cerita dia...i was jumping from one episode to another. (tengok kat this website, takde tv malaysia kat NY kan..sob..sob..) duk fast forward, just to know the jalan cerita but lama2, it was getting annoying. don't get me wrong, i enjoy watching drama/movie melayu, well at least some of them, lagi2 bila dah duduk overseas, just to hilangkan rindu kat malaysia, but this drama to me, is just exploiting AA fans...some episodes tu, from start to finish, takde substance pun and they are draggggggiiinnnngggg it man, they really are..well that is just my opinion anyway. so now after episode 29, or is it 28, i decided no more..not going to watch it, maybe the last two episodes, heheh, just to know how it ends. Malay movies or dramas have so much room for improvement. the editing is just awful..they don't notice the small stuff. it is either that or they have this attitude of"takpelah, sikit jer, orang tak perasan pun". There was one scene where Dee was talking to her mom and there was a HUGE brown spot on her white bedroom door, macam cat pintu terkopak. come on la, you are this rich girl who drives a convertible BMW and bought your boyfriend rolex watch, anak orang kaya, takkan lah pintu macam tu kat rumah..and then some illogical things.like when ain and azie(boy, that girl is annoying) nak berlepas to Australia (BTW, boleh tak teach some of the actors to pronounce australia as AUStralia, and not OSTROlia?), they had one bag each..nak pergi for a few years and yet bawak satu beg jer? and si ain tu bawak the BIG HUGE teddy bear tu kan? where did she put it la? definitely not in the one small bag she was carrying. talking about the teddy bear, Ain is one confused, messed up girl..if you don't like the guy, do you keep the bear that the SAME guy gave to you? don't think so!! nampak sangat she is fickle minded, ok, ok, maybe the director meant it to be that way but ssssoooo tak masuk akal. again, that is just me. hmm.. what else? there are some scenes, not specifically in this drama, but in others as well, where in one scene, there are so many inconsistencies. for example, a guy was wearing a tie and it was loosened up, but as the scene progresses, you can see the tie elok pulak ikat..i know it takes a few takes to make scene, but the editor should keep an open eye for these small stuff. they matter ok? so, pendek cerita, no more AH for me, prefer to watch elementary or revolution and for my guilty pleasure, revenge.that one is a bit 'soap opera"ish but I LOVE IT!!!! love BUNOHAN!!!

Good to know that I am considered normal..

today I had breakfast with one of my good friends..haven't been going out with her for quite a while..everyine was busy with their own thing..so I called her up today and we decided to have breakfast at a cafe nearby..and she said she was glad to be able to hang out with someone normal..that was your truly. she has been dealing with some weird people for the past few weeks. one of her good friends whom she thought was nice suddenly showed her true colours which are not very flattering and my friend didnt know how to handle this weird abnormal lady. so by going out with me (the normal one according to her..)today, she feels better, being able to pour out her feelings and worries. I, too, have my share of dealing with weird people, people are really oblivious of the weird things they are doing that drive people nuts and who are so self centred. I would usually stay away from this kind of people. I would talk to them if needed but it stops there. If we linger around weird people, we might be weird too, soon enough..hahaha...

To work or to stay home?

Today, saw on tv an article about why women still cant have it all..that is have a career and still have quality time to spend with family..it is like women still have to choose between family or career. Read the article and the author said she used to be on the side where she felt superior to stay-at-home moms as she had a very high-flying career. But then she realized that her children were becoming rebels and she missed a lot of their milestones. So, if you are a SAHM, are you the lucky one? Well, from my experience, it has its pros and cons. And i dont want to elaborate it here because i have done it a few times and i am still questioning whether i am making the right choice. And i think doesn't matter which side you are on, you would always question and wonder whether the grass is greener on the other side. 

Today's weather reminds me of Malaysia

The day started with fog and then drizzle and then pouring rain with thunder..and here I am at home, feeling like being in Malaysia, with my coffee, the only thing missing is the local Malaysian drama or news on TV3 or astro..sorry RTM tak tengok, for me it is stuck in the 70s..heheh..boleh ke cakap macam tu? Anyway, sister inlaw coming next week with my niece yang I tak pernah jumpa lagi since she was born two years ago..she is my first niece..mommy going to spoil you so much..ice creams, and dresses and all the cute things we can find in NYC...and then Insya Allah, in August going back for raya and my sister's wedding...hm... something that I really look forward to but at the same time, I am scared and sad..scared because I have this huge responsibilty to be the "mak pengantin" and to spearhead the whole thing, of course my brothers and aunts and uncles going to be helping but I still feel the pressurein making sure everything would go smoothly. even though it is going to be just a simple akad nikah and kenduri, the wprry is still there. and the sad part is that I am not going to see my mom waiting for me at our home or at the airport and I am afraid I am going to break down and cry once we reach home and seeing that it is dark and empty. I miss the times with my mom that I always ahve looked forward to every time I wnet home, she would picked me up at the airport then the next day, we would have breakfast and chat and chat about anything and everything under the sun, then we would hit the shops then buy nasi sumatera for lunch, then went back home. after a short nap in the afternon (for my late mom, her afternoon nap was a must..even if only for ten minutes, it was her way of recharging herself) we would have tea, either the delicious pisang goreng bought at this makcik's stall or my mom's yummy and soft pancake. actually we would have coffee, not tea...and then, after asar, we would go out again, either to shops again or visit our relatives..then at night, after dinner we would watch TV then she would have her milo before calling it a day..How I miss those simple yet wonderful times with Ibu..

Bidan terjun

Today started off with a very rushed morning, last minute 'work' to be done at 8 am in the morning, so had to send DD earlier than usual to school, the abang was away at camp( just for one night but mommy missing him like crazy already). Then a friend couldn't make it to a charity event, first pregnancy for her, having a very bad morning sickness so I had to be the bidan terjun to cukupkan korum. So after the "work", had to rush home, in baju kurung in NYC, tukar baju, and off I went to the event..mak aii..laparnyer, pagi tak sempat breakfast, and plus the fact that I just started a new ambitious routine of drinking warm lemon water in the morning instead of coffee.. ( will see how long this one will last!), so tummy was rumbling...and since nak glamour, pakai ler heels 4 inches..memang asking for trouble la kan? Jalan dah macam mak itik..got home, waited for SD to come back from his first ever camping trip, picked him up form school and off we went to get DD from a birthday party( si kecik ni social life mengalahkan mak dia, bday party la, playdate la).. And luckily I was in the right state of mind not to wear my heels doing all this walking..but even with only two hours of wearing those heels, I am paying the price now. I wonder how some people can wear heels all day long and doesn't look like a duck waddling? The kids are watching star wars episode IV.. SD after balik from universal, developed this interest in star wars, so now lego pun star wars, buku pun star wars and now nak tengok movie pulak, mommy is okay with it, I can watch harrison ford anytime, anywhere, again and again.. :))

still clueless

Was looking at some writing contests but somehow i don't have the courage to enter and at the same time, my lack of motivation is a big hurdle...i wish that God can show me what i am supposed to do, am i supposed to be writing, working or doing something else..i can't be content with just being a stay at home mom right? Or can I? Coz in my mind, a stay at home mom is not cool or great enough but actually the problem with me is that i don't have a talent or skill like baking, cooking, knitting( well, truthfully do know how to knit , at least the basic but can't find the drive to continue plus dont see the point.. That is another problem of mine, not seeing the point of doing certain things especially if it doesn't give immediate results) and now back to the list if talents that I don't have..decorating, design and so on and so forth.. side point : now using the wireless mac keyboard hubby gave me for mother's day so maybe that will give me the much needed push to wtite more, because..here comes another excuse..typing on the ipad keyboard is a bit difficult..but actually it is true, i feel more comfortable typing now, plus maybe the fact that i am now sitting on a chair and not slumped in front of the tv with the ipad on my lap. ok, back to what i want to do with my life..saw that a cousin is now working with the perdana global peace foundation..i think that is something that i might be interested in being involved but have to be more abreast with the the world issues la kan? so have to cut down all the series that I like to watch..luckily DH dah abih so that is off the list..now al jazeera is on, so that is a good start i guess. watching the crisis in africa is down right sad and i feel bad for what is happening over there and here I am sometimes envying people that can afford LV handbags..pffttt..talk about being shallow.. another side point..accidentally press a button and out came a song from my ipod..wow! i am happy with this keyboard!!!

Back pain

Hurt my back a few days ago, was wiping the dresser and boom! it went, the searing pain on my back and later went down to my knees.. Yesterday mostly was lying on my back.there goes my plan of exercising ( the keyword here is plan..hahah) hubby took the kids to school and picked them up, bought dinner. Kids helped with the laundry..hm... Some good did come out of this right? But I was still in a dark mood last night. Biasalah bila sakit, I would always feel guilty because hubby would have to do some of my duties BUT at the same time, I always feel that he is not doing enough or not doing it the right way which is my way.. Talk about irony and basically me being so confusing and a complicated person. Even now i think my sentnce doesn't make sense but what the heck i am just going to type this out. So after dinner and sembahyang isyak, i went out to the living room and told hubby that I was lonely and depressed. So when he asked why, I started bombarding him with all my feelings of feeling guilty but feeling that he should have done more and he should have shown more concern for me, bla bla bla and it dragged out to so many other issues..that is my style, one thing always lead to another and that is driving my hubby nuts!! I know..for me, kalau dah luahkan perasaan tu, semua benda kena luahkan sekali gus..malas nak buat banyak kali, then banyak kali nangis, which is exhausting!!! Anyway, had a long talk and hopefully things would be better now, Insya Allah. I guess, woman and man have two different, very very different ways of seeing things. For example, he said if I want his help, I could just ask for it, but for me, I think it would be nice if he does it without me having to ask him in the first place, maybe for me I think it would be more sincere...is it some kind of b********t or is it a valid issue? I don't know....

Hallluuuu..long time no write..

Well, what is my excuse this time for not writing in this blog for so so so long...hmm... Let's see.. My sister was here, no..not blaming her, actually ade je masa nak berblogging but just to have an excuse..so was the tourist guide for a month, that was tiring but super happy to have her here. We walked, shopped, cooked, baked and planned her wedding..yup, my little sister is getting married, Insya Allah in august so i am going to be the "mak pengantin" since i am the eldest. A bit , well, to be perfectly honest, very nervous about this..like I don't know all of my sedara, especially yang jarang jumpa, I might get the names wrong..gosh! That would so embarassing!!! Have to get some of my aunties' help on that. Nasib baik we have catering services now, not like zaman dulu where kena masak sendiri kat rumah, so cooking is not in my "things to worry" list. Excited to be going back for her wedding and Insya Allah for raya too! Already imagining all the glorious food waiting for me, yum yum... Ok, supposed to be writing about second part of the Disney trip but considering dah jadi cerita basi, let's just say that it was a really wonderful trip for all of us, lots of memories and tons and tons of great fun! Rasa macam nak pergi lagi.well, not likely coz it costs a ton( at least for us, it was) to go there..once in a lifetime jer kut but my son did say the next time he will be going to disneyworld is with his kids..so I asked whether he is going to bring me as well, and he said"of course, mommy". Great answer, if not, malam tu masak dinner sendiri..hahaha... Speaking of dinner, it is just going to be baked pasta for tonight as hubby is having dinner outside. As usual, if it is just the kids and me, pasta it is coz it is the easiest! But my son requested baked pasta in ramekins, he said it looks so luxurious.. What?? Ok lah, janji makan... Oh! I have been meaning to write about this...I overheard a woman's phone conversation on the bus(not my fault, she was talking loudly, I think the bus heard her)about her problems taking take of an elderly person. Now, I am not sure whether she was talking about her mom or her mother in law but she was saying that she couldn't do it anymore as it has been stressing her and her family out..she was complaining that this elderly woman didn't want to eat, didn't want to take showers, basically being a burden. Now I am not judging her because I don't know the whole story and maybe she was having a rough day and she was just pouring her heart out to the person on the other line. Some of the things she was saying, I could understand what she was going through for example, she had to be wearing a few different hats at the same time, being the daughter or (daughter in law), a wife and a mother.she was rushing between schools and her house and the elderly woman's house, trying to juggle so many things. I took care of my late mom when she was battling cancer and sometimes I did feel overwhelmed with all the things going on around me but I tried to do the best I could. It was not easy but it was nothing compared to what my mom was going through. Sometimes even now I wish I have done some things differently, wish I had done this or that or shouldn't have done this or that. When I told hubby about my worries, he said that my mom knew that I was trying my best and I have done it in the best way I could. But somehow, deep down I still feel that I haven't given my mom the best care that she deserved. Two days ago was her birthday, she would have been 63 years old. Happy birthday Ibu and Al-Fatihah.

We made it to Disneyworld!!!!

So last week was a very hectic and nerve wrecking week. I was planning this big huge trip to Disneyworld but kept it from the kids, wanted to surprise them. Once I saw a Disneyworld ad where a few parents surprised their kids and got it on video, so I have been planning to do that to them. So planning went on and on. The research on hotels ( trust me.. This one had me stressed out, which hotel, inside the parks or outside, the rate, the cleanliness, the service, the shuttle to Disney bla bla bla, tripadvisor was my best friend!)and then the flights, well, this one we booked really last minute as hubby just got clearance from HQ to take some days off on Friday morning, so Friday night I bought the tickets which turned out to be a few hundred dollars more compared to if we bought it two days earlier..oh well..what to do. Okay, after all of that was settled, I had to start packing but wait! The kids didn't know about it yet..yup, didn't plan to tell them until a few hours before the flight but then our flight was early Sunday morning so decided Saturday night would be ok and what a loonnggg Saturday it was. My daughter had a birthday party to go to at noon then at four, we had an invitation for tea at a friend's place, so there I was going to one party to another, keeping it all inside. Didn't even tell anybody else, guess I didn't want to jinx it..i know it sounds silly but after two trips being cancelled last minute, I was really hoping this one would go smoothly. At my friend's house, I didn't eat much,which I am regretting it now as her nasi lemak was super delicious. Anyway, we got home by 7, then asked them to change into their pajamas. Sat them down and with my camera ready with the video mode on, told them that they would not be going to school next week. When they asked why, told them "because we are going to Disneyworld!". They were stunned and couldn't process the info. Told them again, then they started jumping up and down! Oh..it was a sight to behold! The screaming of happiness was just priceless! I did it! THEN we started packing, packing for the lovely warm weather in Florida! Yeay! Ok, next day, off we went to the airport and my kids were saying that they couldn't believe this was happening and you know what kiddo, me too! The flight was smooth and once we got to Florida, everyone was feeling so excited! I couldn't sleep that night, the excitement plus it is a habit of mine not being able to sleep the first night I changed places. T The next morning, got up bright and early and had breakfast and off we went to Epcot! It was just surreal to see the big ball! Got on a few rides, took tons of pictures and had a gazillion of fun! Ok, part two of the trip in the next blog! Have to go now!

Lemon chicken for tonight..hopefully

Now making lemon chicken for dinner, this would be my second time. The first time was not that good, even though my son said it was goooodddd..today trying out a new recipe. Hopefully it turns out to be ok. Last night's dinner wasn't good. The lasagna turned out to be dry and I got so upset.. Plus "best friend' was due to come and visit soon, so moods were swinging left and right like no one's business! I was so depressed yesterday and ended up being so tired and dizzy. The kids still enjoyed the lasagna but I made way better lasagnas before so it was a let down. Ah.. Well.. Life goes on. Having some music on now while cooking in the kitchen and it did cheer me up a bit..oh yes, "best friend" said hello this morning so I am having still "me against the world" feeling! Everything is wrong! People annoys me for no reason! Arghh!! I hate this! Trying to keep it under control but sometimes it would just spiral out of control and I ended up feeling so down and depressed! Today's weather was not helping either and the fact that my brothers and sisters are back in our hometown for my cousin's wedding is making me feel lonely. Wish I am back home with everyone and all the craziness and the glorious food! Gosh! I really miss home. Just hoping what I have been planning for next week comes true..

Assignment for today

Had my second lesson today and the assignment is quite tough. The taecher gace us a few phrases to choose from tomstart our story and the story has to end with a twist and we have to write in five minutes! Gosh! That is definitely not easy but I am going to give a go.. Maybe will post it here later. Been talking to my friend and she asked me what do I want to do with my writing training. Well, hopefully to publish a book or two( well, I wouldn't stop at two if I could) and maybe have my own column(s) one day. Fiinding ideas of what to write is not as easy as people would think. There is always this blank page syndrome in me where I would stare at a blank oage, not knowing what to write about..nada..zilch..zero...so one of the good exercises is to free write..but even that is not easy to do if you have all these inner negative critic in you head telling you that you can't do this, this idea is stupid, that idea is rubbish, what do you think you are doing ( actually having those oices right now as I am typing away.. Arghhhh!!!!), so on and so forth.. Well, I will shoot down all those voices and believe that I can do this!!! Yes I can!!!! "Met" a few new friends in my class and so happy to know that we share the same passion and so relieved to know that we have more or less the same problems; self-doubt, lack of writing discipline, procractination, writer's block and negative people that think we are not good enough to be great writers. Well, together we are going to march on..hmm... Now I think I sound like someone who is marching to go and fight for their country or something..well, we are fighting right? fighting to make our dreams come true...best of luck to all of us!

Have to follow what the teacher says..

Today is the first day of my second writing course titled Writerrific: Creativity Training for Writers. And my new teacher, Eva, said that YOU HAVE TO WRITE EVERYDAY..EVEN IF IT IS ONLY FOR FIVE MINUTES..YOU HAVE TO WRITE EVERYDAY... Ok, I think by now I should get that printed in my brain...it is the same thing that my previous teacher, Ann, said..write everyday! I know for some people it is just straightforward and simple, you want to be a writer, you have to write but for me, I guess, I need somebody to tell me that so I can do it, knowing that that somebody knows what she is talking about. The assignment for the first class is quite easy, introduce yourself (done that!) amd find a nice journal to write in.hm..actually my old journal is all filled up so need a new one..heheh..an excuse to go shopping..hey..buying a journal is also considered shopping in my vocabulary! And I also need a new folder and a nice new shiny pen that will make my handwriting looks nice! I really have bad handwriting and I always blame it on the pen...ok..will be writing away..everywhere; here in my blog, in my journal, in my iPhone writing app and etc etc...

Go on and write!!!!

I have not been writing much after my first writing class and now planning to take a second one. I know I have to get off my b**t and write EVERYDAY but I am just being plain lazy. Have to get over that laziness and WRITE,, gosh..is that so hard to do? Don't think so..ok..ok..it is Jan 11 and it is not too late to have a new year's resolution right? Ok...have to have to have to write...what I learnt from my first class is just to write, whatever it is you are writing aboutl, it doesn't matter, you just have to write. One of the most helpful writing methods is by doing free write. Set the timer to five or ten minutes, then start writing, don't stop, don't edit, don't care about how your handwriting looks like, just write until time is up. We can go bla bla bla if we run out of things to write about. The good thing about free writing is that you might find some ideas hidden in there somewhere that can be put into good use in your book, short stories or anything you are working on. One more thing I learned is that the only way to fail writing is by not writing anymore..ok..I do not want to fail so I ammgoing to continue writing.

Ok, let's take a detour and talk about the new baby in town, blue ivy carter..jayz and beyonce's new baby..am watching the view right now and they said that they spent over a million dollars for gifts for the baby. There is a 20 grand baby crib and a some sort of solid gold rocking horse that cost a fortune ( didn't catch how much it is).. 20 grand crib??? It is RM60K!!!! Can buy a small car with that!!! And they also renovated the wing of the hospital where the baby was born which cost over a million dollars! I might sound naive but it is not that they are going to live there .. It is just pain, push and off you go home.. So why do you need to spend money to renovate the place? Well, it is because they have the money of course but to me, that is just plain stupid to do that and what a waste of money..that is just my opinion.

Ok...write away!!!!

First entry for 2012

Well, it is already 4th of January today and what a freezzziiinnngggg day it is. In the morning it was -11C!!!! My fridge's temperature is warmer I think! Had to make sure the kids were bundled up really good before going to school. Of course my son was reluctant about putting an extra sweater! And it is always a battle to go out the door during this cold weather, have to make sure everyone has their gloves, scarves, hats. Yesterday, which was equally as cold as today, we were late and we rushed to school and in the midst of making sure everyone got everything, I forgot my hat! Boy, that was a big mistake! My ears felt like falling off! Plus I couldn't feel my nose and my hands were freezing despite wearing gloves! Need to get thicker gloves..heheh..an excuse to go to the shops! And I have another excuse, I left my favorite hat on the train a few days ago so "need" to get a new one (even though I do have a few other hats).

Our winter break didn't turn out as planned. The trip to South Carolina was cancelled. To the very last minute, literally last minute! The bags were packed and were put at the door, we were all dressed and ready to go. The guy that was supposed to come and pick us up ( we were going with him and another couple in a mini van) called and said the weather was really bad and we had to go the next morning. Plus he was late and was coming from Philly, bla bla bla....if we were to leave the next day, it meant we have only one night in SC ( it is a twelve-hour journey) and it would be so tiring, we would spending more time on the road than in SC. So we told him just to just cancel it. No more planning trips with this guy! On the plus side, it might be a blessing in disguise because it was raining hard and my daughter wasn't feeling well. So when we told the kids it was cancelled, they were so super duper upset. It broke my heart to see them cry..:((. So we told them we would do something special and promised toys as a consolation. It was not bribery..it was just to cheer them up. So we went to the botanical garden to see the train show and of course to the LEGO store for the toys. The LEGO store was a big mistake to go during christmas break. There were sssooooo many people!!! Fifth Avenue was jam packed! To walk was impossible..no more excuse me, you just had to bulldoze your way through! I haven't seen that many people on Fifth Avenue before especially near the LEGO store which is in Rockerfeller center. And we did another big mistake by going to Times Square! Why oh why did we go? Thought of having lunch at Hard Rock Cafe..it was an hour wait! Forget it! We'll come when there are less tourists in NYC...:)). So basically winter break was ok even though we didn't get to to to SC. Things happen for a reason.. That's what I told the kids and to myself.

Trying to stay warm.....