spring break..

My kids are having their spring break for about two weeks, even though the weather today don't seem like spring time at all, it has been raining since last night and it is sssooo gloomy and depressing. The kids were watching TV and if I hadn't reminded them that they have some reading assignments to do, they would be in front of that box till night time. My son is really testing my patience now, he is dilly-dallying and making all sorts of excuses not to do his reading. Hmmm geram jugak nih...sabar!!!! My daughter okay sikit..rajin la jugak..

The reading system here is quite good, they don't just ask you to read the book, but they emphasize on stopping and thinking about the story and the kids are encouraged to have little post-its where they can jot down ideas or questions along the way. And instead of having tons of homework everyday like what I had waaaayyyy back then, they have a manageable amount of homework and a book a day to read. The interest of reading is being instilled at a very young age and also the critical thinking part of it. The kids also have writing classes, I mean I am so impressed that they are learning how to write a book starting at first grade. Also with the books they are reading, they learn the different techniques of writing books. I know that we also have essays and karangans in our school, but the method is a bit different and I think the kids are learning more through this system of "building" your story throughout the year. By the end of the year, the kids will be "publishing" their books. I wish I had that when I was in school..maybe I would be an award-winning writer by now...hehehe...

Don't stop wishing...

ski trip..

At last, we went for an outing outside the city...kids were super excited, no problem waking them up 5 in the morning. The journey was smooth, apart from the bus driver who got the drop-off place wrong..dah la salah, tak nak apologize pulak tu..anyway, got to the ski resort, snow was scarce..dah spring kan, but enough to ski and tubing. Hubby joined the ski lesson, the kids and me went tubing..no lesson needed for that one..luncur jer..it was sssoooo much fun. At first my daughter was scared, so I had to hold her hands sliding down, but after the third time, she was brave enough to go by herself. And she didn't want to stop, nor did her brother. Yang letih nye mommy le, coz I still had to go down and helped her with her float to drag it up the slope. I was telling myself, at least that would be my exercise for the day. After about one and a half hours tubing, we decided to call it a day. Tu pun coz my daughter had gotten her socks wet, if not God knows when we would stop.

We had lunch at the cafe. It was just a simple lunch, ordered fries and clam roll. Other Malaysians siap bawak nasi lemak, mee goreng , keropok and what not. I could not bring myself to wake up at 4 to cook and clean and to get the kids ready for the trip. So hubby dearie suggested ordering pizza the night before and reheat in the morning. Boy, I love him!!!

After lunch (well, if you can call fries and clam roll lunch, by the Malaysian standard), we checked in at the hotel. Rested for a bit. my body was starting to feel sore after all the climbing and pushing and tubing. Then we decided to walk around town. It was a really quiet town and a few shops opened. Most shops close at 2 pm!!! Found a gelato shop and gosh!! it was delicious..and the owner recommended lemon cake that she baked herself. It was truly out-of-this-world!!! Rugi pulak order satu jer...

We went back to the hotel just in time for the dinner and games organized by the club's committee. The kids had fun, dancing and running around. I wonder where they got their energy, I mean they woke up early, traveled for three hours, tubing and then they still have tons of energy to run around!!! A little after nine, we went back to our room and my hubby immediately knocked out! First time skiing la katakan...I couldn't sleep the whole night. It has been a habit of mine where I would have trouble sleeping at a new place. Plus with my hubby's snoring, it was not a good night for me.

The next morning, we had breakfast and then before going back to the city, we made a stop. At the outlet!!!! It was my first time there and gosh, my eyes grew bigger and bigger seeing all the designer shops...pity we didn't have enough time to go into each and every one of them. But still managed to buy one handbag and one sling bag. Hubby bought some work clothes and kids got some shoes and clothes. Come to think of it, hubby got the most stuff..mana aci!!!! But for people who had been to other outlets, this outlet is really small. You mean others are much bigger??? Wow...hopefully I would be at the bigger outlets soon!!!!

After lunch, we headed home. Almost everyone slept throughout the journey except for moi..another habit of mine..can't sleep while travelling. So add that to the sleepless night before, I was really tired. Got home around 7 pm, decided to tired to cook so it was maggi for everyone!!! By 10, I was so happy to be in my own bed and try not to think of having to wake early tomorrow..was thinking the kids could skip school esok..apa punya mak la..(they did go after all, they have all the energy in the world, remember?)

All in all, it was a great trip, was glad to see the countryside and enjoy the peaceful surrounding..now back to our world, where everyone is honking and beeping...

serenity is priceless...

have to be motivated to stay motivated

Today, I am feeling super duper depressed...well, have been feeling like this on and off for quite some time..and I am trying hard to stay positive. I am thankful with what I have now, a great hubby, two wonderful healthy kids, great family and friends. But I am feeling like I have to do something more with my life...I am trying to write and to be a writer but I am just so lazy sometimes to do anything about it and I know NO ONE CAN HELP ME EXCEPT MYSELF on that matter. I have written bits and pieces here and there but nothing substantial..I am feeling so lost. Over here, I have nobody to talk too, except for hubby and I don't want to be bothering him with my problems so much..besides I need somebody different that I could talk too. God knows how lonely I am feeling right now...

I am trying to stay positive..I remember helping a blind woman not long ago to cross the street. She was going to the UPS store and all she had was a dog to lead the way and she seemed to be happy. God knows what she went through but if she can be outside and finding her way around, I am pretty sure I could do much more right? But sometimes I tend to forget things like that, I mean to look around and see that other people are in much more difficult situations and they managed to survive. I saw a video about this guy who doesn't have any arms and legs, and he said it is not easy not to be bitter about life but he decided not to be bitter, just to be better. I really admire his courage, he has only limbs but he does try to do normal things like normal people and I think he is doing a good job at it.

The feeling of being lost and lonely is bugging me right now and I don't know how to deal with it. I pray to God that he would show me the way as only He knows what is best for me. But I also have to do my part by staying positive and try my hardest to achieve what I want, whatever that maybe.

Nothing is what it seems...

freezing...

Today, the building management decided to do maintainance on the heating system, so no heater from 5 am till 6 pm. They must be out of their mind!!! It is not as cold as last week but being on the 17th floor and outside's temperature being 8C and I am sure it is colder up here, it is freezing!!! Now I am in the kitchen, the warmest place in the house, plus I am cooking now so that makes it even warmer!!! My first attempt making masak lemak daging..yep, I am 35 and married for ten years, and this IS my first time cooking that dish. Wanted to put cili padi but my kids will be complaining that it is too spicy, so mommy and papa have to sacrifice la...

Back to the freezing woman here...I am now wearing socks, long sleeve t-shirt, sweatpants and a cardigan....and wanted to wear gloves but then, I can't type with gloves on. I still don't know how some people can text on their phone with gloves on...I can't even press one single button let alone typing messages...that is one skill I am yet to learn and conquer...

I hope this service work ends before 6 pm, seriously, I am still not comprehending why they have to do it now, they could wait until it is a lot more warmer..but then again, this year, the winter seems to be overstaying..it is already middle of March and we still need our winter coats plus layers of clothing to go out...

Keeping warm....

Brothers and Sisters..

I really like to watch the Brothers and Sisters series..somehow it reminds me of my own family, five siblings and a mom. Even though we don't have all the drama of finding out that the dad had an affair (thank God for that!) and we don't really "fight" every time we meet up, the dynamics of a good family is what what we have in common with the Walkers. My siblings and I, we are really close and when my mom had her breast cancer operation, we got even closer. The hardship and misery that we went through has shown me how grateful I am to have such great siblings. My brother who is two years younger realised that he now takes over the role of being the man of the house when our dad passed away and I am proud to say that he is doing it very well indeed. Even though sometimes I worried that he was busy taking care of everyone that he forgets to take care of himself. My other brother, eight years younger, is an ''arty person, the best way to describe him. He is still "searching" for his true self..at least that's what I think he is doing..but he really carried out his responsibility in helping out in caring for our mom. Even though sometime I would have to remind him to cut down on his jamming sessions and spend more time with our mom, he is a good kid. My two younger sisters, are much more matured than their real age. I guess that came from the experience of growing up without a dad (our dad passed away when they were five and three years old) and the boarding school life they had since they were thirteen. It is particularly hard to see my sisters going through the process of healing after our mom passed away, as they were the closest to her. My mom really made sure that they were protected and taught the best way she knew how and they have indeed grown up to be two wonderful young women.

I was "spring cleaning" my phone where I came across all sms I got from my siblings during the time when my mom was sick. The messages were about various things like the medicines we should pick up from the hospital, or the time for chemo and who was going with my mom, and endless of "kirim" food sms to who was going to the hospital canteen (which serves delicious asam pedas and sambal belacan) and the simple messages of saying thank you and "I love you". For us, saying "I love you" is a must thing that we do every time we talk to each other, thanks to our mom who insisted that we need to tell that to the people we love every time we have the chance.

When our mom passed away, we worked together to figure out how to sort things out - to bring the "jenazah" back to our home town, to do the tahlil, to take care of our house and also the details of how to handle the "harta peninggalan'. Alhamdulillah, so far, we don't argue about the money or land my mother had, we always decided to share it equally among us. I know of some siblings who don't see eye to eye when it comes to this.

Now, even though I am so far away from them and I miss them terribly, I know that they are there for me and me for them, because now, with both our dad and mom gone, what we have is each other. My mom asked me to promise her before she passed away to take care of my siblings. I know as the eldest, that is my responsibility and I did promise her and I do intend to carry out that promise the best way I know how...Insya Allah.

Don't be bitter, be better...

Share-a-cab...

Yesterday, the cab-sharing system was introduced in Manhattan. The cab becomes like a mini-mini-mini bus where four strangers can share on a cab on designated routes. So far there are three share-a-cab stops. It is done so that passengers would be paying less and the cab drivers could get more (the rate for now is $4 per person). The question for me is, is it safe? What if the person whom you are sharing with is a psycho? People would argue there would be psychos on the bus or train or any public transportation anyway, (psychos are apparently everywhere now). But a cab is a cab and it is small, so to my believe the danger is greater. Plus, you might be sitting in between two strangers who might do things to you or even have bad odour, and with the car window shut (especially during winter, who would want the freezing wind?), you would be in misery. I'd say, just take the bus or subway, or if you are on a diet, just walk. Maybe if you are in a desperate need and have not enough money to pay for the cab-ride, you could try sharing one but you would still have to wait for three other passengers to fill-up the cab. Come to think of it, Malaysia, in particular Kelantan, has implemented this a long time ago and is still being practised. It is known as the "prebet sapu". I still remembered I desperately had to go back to my hostel in Kerteh and all the bus tickets were sold out so my dad chartered a "prebet sapu" car and sternly warned the driver not to pick up any other passengers along the way. Luckily he didn't but then I still didn't relax during the six-hour journey. It was just me and the driver..I had to keep my eyes open..anything could happen but thank God, I arrived safe and sound at my hostel. Anyway, I wish this new system good luck because so far, the response is not really good. Maybe it is to early to tell, so we'll see whether this idea of sharing a ride with strangers would catch fire with the New Yorkers.

Bringing your kid to work...

Two days ago, a shocking story broke out. A guy brought his nine-year-old kid to work and the boy got to do his dad's job. What was the dad's job? Air traffic controller!!! The boy literally gave instructions to the pilots flying the planes (with specific guidance from his dad, of course). But was that a wise thing to do? Nothing bad happened but what if something did happen? The guy's supervisor was so cool about it that the dad brought his other kid to work the next day, the boy's twin (it was the mid-winter break, maybe they don't have a sitter or maybe the dad just wanted to let his kids see how he does his job). However, now the dad is suspended as well as the cool supervisor. And now, the twins are reported to be upset because they feel it was their fault that their dad got into trouble. Now the all-seemingly fun and harmless thing to do with your kids has turned into a nightmare for the family. With record like that plus the increasing number of unemployment nowadays, I wonder whether the dad would get a job soon enough to feed his family, if he gets fired. I heard the recording on the news, the boy spoke clearly and confidently and the pilots receiving the instructions from him were amused. But this meant putting the lives of thousand of people on the plane in jeopardy. Some people defended the dad, saying that he just meant to bring his kids to work. But they say that because nothing terrible happened. What if the kid got something mixed up and even though I don't know how this air traffic controlling thing really works, I assume it would just take seconds for something to go wrong over a tiny small misinformation, of the coordinates or the plane's flight number or what not, and things would really messy. So, the moral of the story is..by all means, bring your kids to work but don't let them do your work unless you work as the coloring-with-crayon guy at your office.

Thank you????

Today, I went to the post office to send something to a friend which was long overdue. As I walked out, someone was behind me. Seeing that his hands were holding bags, I held the door for him. He just walked out, without looking at me, much less saying thank you!!! How rude!!!! But then, as I constantly remind myself never to judge people (which is not easy), I told myself, maybe he is in a hurry (but he was walking at a normal pace) or maybe he is having a problem (but his face wasn't showing any sign of distress) or maybe his thoughts were somewhere else that he didn't see this short woman holding the door for him. I was sincere in holding the door for him but hey..a thank you or even a nod and a smile wouldn't cost him anything right? Anyway, as I said before, maybe he was "somewhere else" or maybe he is just plain rude...I know..I know..don't judge...but it is not easy okay...

Sincerity is the finest way of communication...